Look to Those Who LOVE You

Tomorrow is Christmas day and then 7 days after it is 2014. Whoa.

Not only has 2013 gone by super fast, but I can honestly say this year was pretty great. I was a member of my state's all-state choir, which was one of the coolest experiences ever! Speaking of the arts, I got two gold metals at state solo and ensemble and was in two great productions with my school's theater. Later that school year, I went to my first prom. Even though it's really cliche, it actually was amazingly fun and I'm so excited to go again this year! In the summer, I got my first job counseling at a Christian summer camp. I could talk about this for hours, but in short, it was one of the greatest things I've done yet. I got to be apart of some very wonderful kids' lives, and I wouldn't trade that for anything!

Moving on from the accomplishments, one of the greatest parts of 2013 was becoming close to so many great people. When I think back on the year, even though there were some rough spots with friends and some people who drifted away, the number of friends I made is much greater than the amount of friends I lost. Throughout the year, I became close with quite a few people whom I can truly rely on. I found people who will have my back and will be there for anything, and that is one of the best feelings in the world.

In the past, I used to have a tendency to think back on all the things that went wrong with certain friends that I would forget to open my eyes and see just how many people actually cared for me. One day, a friend who's very close to my heart gave me the best advice I ever could have gotten, and it was this:

Look to the ones who love you, don't dwell on the ones who don't.

Re-read it and re-read it again. Stick it in your mind and don't ever lose it. I think of this little saying almost daily and it always helps me to look around and see everything I do have versus everything I don't. I have a fantastic family. I have a really cool church family. I have friends who are close and friends who are farther away that I know will always be there if I so need it.

I think 2013 was such a great year because of all I've learned. I learned that if one person leaves, I need to just get back up and find people who won't, and I can gladly say I found those people. Overall, 2013 made me a better person. I became a better friend, a better leader, and a better helper. Moving on into 2014, I'm looking forward to how this year is going to impact me, and I am so excited! 

I hope your year was pretty great, and if it wasn't the best; Don't stop now! 2014 can be the best year yet, but you're the one who can makes it so fantastic! Merry Christmas to all of you, and thank you to those of you who have made an impact in my life this year. I love all of you oh so much!


P.S. A goal for this year is to try to blog weekly. Let's see if I can make it happen! :)

The Friend-Zone

I can't believe I am actually about to write about this...but this is happening!

Oh, the joys of the "friend-zone!" We all have been there, and if you haven't, you probably know someone who has. That moment when you find the perfect person and they tell you that they will only ever see you as a friend. There's that best friend who will tell you about their relationship problems, and the whole time you are giving advice on how they will one day find the person who is perfect for them, all while giving subtle hints that that "person" is you. Then there's that person you have known forever and ever and you don't want to ruin your friendship by telling them how you really feel.

With all of this, I am giving 5 steps on how to overcome the friend-zone!

Step 1: Tell How You Feel

The first thing you have to do is get over this battle with yourself. Maybe you have feelings with your best friend and you don't want to ruin this friendship that has already been going really well. If they are truly your "best friend," don't you think that they would be mindful of your thoughts and feelings? Sure, they might not feel they same way, but if your friendship was really important to you before then it shouldn't have to change just because you spoke your mind. A friend will hear you out no matter the topic, and if they choose to freak out or change everything, it is simply their fault for not being a good friend.

Step 2: Friend>Nothing

So it happened, you have been friend-zoned! One thing you are going to want to do is distance yourself; you don't want things to be awkward! Don't. You obviously care for this person, so wouldn't it just hurt more if they weren't in your life anymore? A friend is better than nothing, and maybe a relationship just wasn't meant to be! Friendships are some of the greatest things in life, don't abandon it just because you are afraid of awkwardness. I'm not saying it won't be a tad bit awkward, but stop thinking of it as awkwardness! Life will go on, and with time, you guys can return things back to the way they have always been.

Step 3: Move On!

No, this isn't me saying go out for the rebound, this is me saying that it is time to move on! This right here is probably the hardest step, but it is possible. Like I just said, your life will go on! You can keep the other person in your life, but stop having your world revolve around them. Learn to stop focusing on just them, there are plenty of other things you can be doing besides trying to be with or impress this one person! Some things just aren't meant to be, and one day you will find someone 1000 times better than the person who you thought would be your "soul-mate."

Step 4: Stop Using the Term "Friend-zone"

Let's be real, what is the friend-zone even supposed to be? It seems to me like it was a term invented by people who were just too afraid to express their feelings. You may think that you are "stuck" in the friend-zone, but what is it that is stopping you from leaving? They don't like you back, and you need to accept this. You still are friends, and that is something you also need to accept. And if you are still stuck on Step 1 and haven't shared your feelings, there's always the hope that they do like you back! You'll never know if you don't get some courage and just go with it!

Step 5: Being "Just Friends" is Perfectly Fine

To them, being "just friends" is what they've always wanted in the first place! They are happy, so why shouldn't you be? I get it, you spent who knows how long picturing the two of you as a couple, and then when you realize it's never going to happen, it kind of sucks. But friends are people you talk to, hang out with, and have fun with. Just because you guys aren't in a relationship doesn't mean you can't be close friends. After awhile, you will forget that you ever had feelings for them in the first place. You may not be completely over them, but you need to try. 

So there you have it, my two-cents on life in the friend-zone! Hooray for forever giving relationship advice without ever actually being in a relationship! :)

The Truth of Perfection

I don't know if you, whoever reading this, thinks very highly of me or thinks lowly of me, but one thing I will admit about myself is that I am not perfect. And maybe I don't need to be. I think there's a certain beauty in our flaws. Dictionary.com defines beauty as "an outstanding example of its kind."  There's no one who is exactly like us, and as cliche as that is, there is so much truth in that statement. You could take anyone in the whole world, and there is not a single person who thinks the same exact way you do, lived the same past as you did, looks the same as you do; the list goes on and on! Being unique is being one of a kind and special, and that is exactly what you are. To be unique is to be beautiful.

I think a lot of us try to be perfect and it kills us inside knowing that we'll never be perfect in whoever's eyes we are trying to please, but just like many other things, perfection is all based on perspective. People are going to dislike you, but on the other hand, there are going to be many people who do like you! It may take a little bit of searching, but there are going to be people who look at you and see nothing but perfection. And honestly? If a person can't find the good in you, maybe they just aren't a good person for you to be with. Just because one person doesn't see your worth and beauty, it doesn't mean no one else will. 

Speak your Mind

“So speak and be heard. One word after the next, express yourself and put your life into context -- if you find that no one is listening, be loud. Make noise.”

-Shane Koyczan

We all have feelings that we've never shared. We all have words that have failed to be said. What if instead of keeping things built up inside us, we learned to let our feelings out? I know it can be hard, trust me, I’m great at this! It’s just so much easier to go with the flow and let things stay inside your own head where they are safe. We are gifted with the ability to communicate with one another, so why not put this to good use? You may think you’re strong and tough by keeping your feelings inside, but by doing that, you are just more of a coward, afraid to speak your mind. It can be hard, I agree with that. But sometimes we have to man up. Tell someone when you’re hurting. Let someone know how you truly feel. Show someone how much you appreciate them. Feelings are not a sign of weakness, they are proof that you are human, and not a single person can disagree with that. If we open our eyes, we will see the people who truly love us and will be there for us. We need to find those people in our lives and learn that it is okay to say what’s on your mind and loosen up that fake smile. It takes more strength to say what’s on your mind than to play it off like everything’s alright.

So now I propose a challenge. Speak your mind. Don't be afraid of failure, because you'll never know what the outcome will be if you never try. If you are upset and having a bad day, tell someone, because I guarantee you, you're not alone. If you feel the need to share with someone how you feel about them, do it without the fear of rejection. We all have been given the right to speak. Use it.